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profile.
its all about me.

sarahs blog
girl likes girl

recent posts.
Oh Man
Im A Bad Mother
So It Begins
Tonight Tonight
Follow The Leader
Prove Me Right
Its A Pefect Day
Blah Blah Blah
Lets Just Be Friends
Rate Me!

archive.
October 2008

amigos
.:...Can You Point Me To The Bar? .:1000 Tiny Things I Hate .:A Bit of Miss Tiff .:A Passionista's Vanity .:Alice in Average-Land .:Baby, When the Sun Goes Down .:Behind the Curtains .:chelsea talks smack .:Clever Girl Goes Blog .:CowGirl's Rambles .:CowGirls HNT Pics .:foxtrot tango lima .:i hate so much... .:I Kicked Cancer's Ass .:Just Another Stupid Blog .:Just Darling .:Liam's alternate reality .:mental poo .:Observations On The Six .:Pink Avocado .:she hates everything .:Somewhere In Between .:Speaking Only in Vowels .:Splitting The Circle .:The Jesus of Uncool .:The Seduction of Infidelity .:Too Red, To Read .:Vintage, Sarcastic yet Refreshing .:Waiting for breakfast

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Friday, October 24, 2008 | 7:59 PM
Oh Man
Im sure those of you who read this have read Sarahs post from yesterday. It's unbelievable. I feel so bad for her.

I was so scared when she called me at work. She said something happened and she didnt want to talk about it on the phone. It freaked me out. I panicked and took off and rushed home. I thought she had killed someone or something.

I still dont even know what to say.

I got to meet her parents today. It was the most nerve-racking experience in my entire life. I had to meet and talk to the people who literally hate me strictly for what I represent in Sarahs life. But, I was totally caught off guard when they immediately opened up and hugged me. I actually cried. It was beautiful. To finally see Sarah get what shes been asking for for the last 9 years was heart melting (Look at me being all sentimental. Im not usually like that, so you know how powerful of a situation it had to of been to get me feeling all mushy and warm inside).

I am so sad for her mom. I wont go in to details about all that. I know she plans on posting later on about it, so I wont steal it from her.

I will say that I am very sad that I only get to be part of this womans life for 2 months. Her mom is a very strong lady. Sarah is like her in more ways than either of them want to admit, I would bet. And her dad. He really made me feel welcome. I was proud of both Sarah and her parents for the way the conducted themselves around each other, especially with all the tension and questions and resentment.

This is going to be a very rough 2/3 months. I wish it didnt have to be like this for anyone, but I guess its a fact of life we all have to accept. It really makes you appreciate your own life even more, I know that much. Knowing that any day, at any time, someone could tell you that you only have 8 months to live. 8 months, and its all over. Its a very humbling thought.

Seeing what I saw today has really made me think about a lot of things, about people who I love very much, but dont speak to anymore because of stupid little things. They were some of the best people in my life, just like Angie is the best thing in Sarahs life, and any day they could be gone. It makes me love Sarah even more, as well. I could lose her in the blink of an eye. Will there be things I look back on and regret doing/not doing when she's gone? Yes, there would be, if I lost her right now. But now I know to take advantage of every minute I have with this girl, and never let anything pass us by.

Life is short. Too fucking short.

- Taylor


1 comments
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 | 11:32 PM
Im A Bad Mother
Dude, I can't even remember the last time I updated this thing. I need to get on it.

I just got back yesterday from our train-trip (not as fun as road trips) to Chicago with Sarah. So. Awesome. I seriously want to live there for the rest of forever. Best shops, best coffee, best PIZZA, best everything. It was a little chilly for my tastes, but I barely even noticed in the midst of all the awesomeness.

I bought some sexy clothes, lots of pizza (Im going to need to start running again), and lots and lots of alcohol. The bars and clubs are fucking sweet. So much better than our shit towns night-life. I used to love our city's clubs, but I feel like I cant go back now. Its just not as good. Poor me, what am I going to do!!

But seriously, it was sweet. Sarah's boss is the shit too. When I first met him, I thought he was going to be this real straight laced dickface that I wouldn't get along with, but I was way off. But after work, he loosens his tie and gets down with the best of them (who is "them" anyways?). Me and him are totally best friends now. He told me he's so happy to finally meet me and that Sarah "has told me so much about you, " which I know is a complete lie because she hasn't told anyone at work about me because she's scared.

I don't mean that. It's okay that shes scared. Not all work environments are okay with things like girls who fuck other girls. My job applauds it and probably hired me because of it, but I also work in a bar with barely any clothes on. Her boss is really cool about it though. He showed a lot of respect and understanding. We're supposed to go out with him and his wife this weekend. That should be fun.

So, thats all for now. Sarah and I are going to watch The Strangers. Goodnight, folks.

- Taylor


1 comments
Sunday, October 12, 2008 | 9:38 PM
So It Begins
Well, Sarah is off to New York, and I'm here all alone. I already want her to come back home.

On the flip side, it might be nice to have 3 days to myself. It's really not even 3 days. She'll be home Tuesday. It still sucks though. I've gotten used to sleeping in bed with her next to me, so it will be weird trying to sleep alone again, especially sleeping in a new house all alone. I think this will be the first time I have slept in her house without her here.

I'm on a Hot Pocket binge. Well, they are really Lean Pockets, but you get the idea. My third one is in the microwave right now.

Have you noticed that I use proper punctuation now? Sarah told me I should because I look like an idiot if I don't. I feel so stupid, but it's been so long since Ive had to write or type anything that for some words, I have forgotten where the apostrophe goes lol, so don't make fun of me if I messed anything up. I'm new to this.

I'm looking forward to reading her post from New York. It will be weird, since I'm usually with her to talk about things first. Now I wont be : ( Unless she calls.

Okay, I'm going to stop boring you with my stupid love crap.

- Taylor


2 comments
Saturday, October 11, 2008 | 7:44 PM
Tonight Tonight
Sarahs birthday is tomorrow, and Im so pissed that we dont have a chance to do anything for it. She flys out of here for NY tomorrow night, so there is really nothing we can do.

Its not too bad though, we are having a few friends over tonight and will probably just watch some movies and drink vodka and/or wine like we always do, except this time we'll all be giving presents to her instead of her giving presents to all of us.

I have a HUGE surprise for her tonight, though. I had a friend of ours take her out for the day to go shopping or whatever they want to do. While they were gone, me and a few friends of mine moved all my stuff from my apartment to her house. She is going to be so happy when she comes home. Ive been planning this for weeks, putting my bed and other crap into storage, selling some things that I dont need, and boxing the rest up so I can get it out and back into her house as fast as possible. I dont have much, so it wasnt a lot of work.

I cant wait to see her face when she comes home. Shes been talking about me moving in for so long and saying how bad she wants me to do it. I wasnt sure for a while if it was a good idea, but I am very confident in our relationship now, and it felt like it was the right time. It just so happened it was almost her birthday too, so it worked out quite well as a great surprise.

This house feels more like a home now. She did a great job making it look good on her own, but with my extra furniture, decorations, bigger table for the dining room, extra dishes, flat-screen TV etc. etc., it looks even better. On top of that, its now ours. I know that word alone is going to mean so much to her. It makes me happy to be able to give her that.

So, expect a post about how excited she is sometime tonight or tomorrow. I guarantee it will be the first thing she wants to do when she gets home.

- Taylor


0 comments
Friday, October 10, 2008 | 10:31 PM
Follow The Leader
Yo. Ok, so Sarah made a post about the other blog we share, so I probably dont need to, but will anyways.

We have another blog for anyone to subscribe to since neither of ours have the followers whatever-its-called required to follow a blog. The other one does, so you can subscribe to it, and whenever either of us makes a new post, we will make a new post on the other one too so it will show up for you.

So go subscribe and read the stupid things I have to talk about. Do it now.

- Taylor


0 comments
| 6:40 PM
Prove Me Right
This is the very reason I have doubts about anything anyone tells me. They are always lying, or not doing what they say they are going to do. I hate being proved right about things like this. Its one of the only times in my life where I wanted to be wrong.

When you tell someone you are going to do something for or with them, go through with it, especially if youve talked about it for days and days. If you really cant come through, CALL ME AND TELL ME. Is that so fucking hard? I spend my whole day preparing, pushing other plans to the side, just to make sure I am ready and waiting when it comes time to do what we have to do.

And then they dont show up.

I call and call, trying to figure out what is going on. No word. An hour passes, two hours, three hours, four fucking hours, when finally I get a hold of a mutual friend who tells me she is off doing something with some guy she barely even knows. So much for "best friends," right?

19 years I have been friends with this person. And when I try to count on them for something that happens to be very important to me, she blows me off for a guy she met only 2 days ago.

Now, I probably wont be getting the bartending job. I needed a ride to the bar since my car is in the shop, and thats what I was counting on her for. I was supposed to go in today for a final interview and possibly even start working. Sarah was at work, all my other friends were at work, except for this girl. I told her 4 days ago I would be needing a ride. She promised she would be there. But, she wasnt. I had a feeling something like this was going to happen. I always do, and unfortunately, Im always right.

I might still got the job. I called the manager and told him I was going to be late, and I did actually show up after Sarah came home from work, but it looks so bad being almost 4 hours late. He wasnt very happy with me, but he had me fill out some paper work then had me work for 2 hours. I loved it, but I could have worked for 6 if I was there on time. Working topless will take some getting used to. When I was leaving, the manager said "Ill call you with your schedule." Thats why I dont think Im getting the job.

I dont know how Im going to handle this with my stupid friend. I want to yell and scream at her, but that wont solve anything. She gets very defensive if someone raises their voice with her. I have to say something though. She fucked me over.

Bitch.

- Taylor


0 comments
Thursday, October 9, 2008 | 7:25 PM
Its A Pefect Day
I have rekindled my love for Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground. I remember when I was a teenager and would smoke pot and listen to Venus In Furs. Those were the days.

Music has always had such a big influence in my life. I dont know if influence is the right word, actually, but it has always been important to me. When I think about different stages of my life, and different things that Ive been through, I can always remember what music or bands I was listening to at that point in time. There is always a soundtrack to everything you do.

Right now, my soundtrack would be kind of like, Fiona Apple (how typical, right?). Her music is so sexy, as is she. I can relate to a lot of things she talks about too. Its nice to hear something you feel like youve been through.

What about you? What would be the soundtrack to your life right now? Name a few songs or styles or whatever. I think you can learn a lot about a person and what is going on in their life by the type of music they are listening to at any given time, so also, if you feel open enough, tell me what your life is like currently, too, so we can see if there are any similarities to the music. It will be a fun little experiment.

- Taylor


0 comments
| 1:34 AM
Blah Blah Blah
I can guarantee I am not the only person annoyed by people who talk during movies. What the hell is their problem? Im pretty sure we are all born knowing not to talk during movies (that cant be true since kids from ages 2 - 13 wont shut up during a movie).

I love Sarahs friends, but a certain one of them talks like she was still wearing Huggies. We watched Baby Mama (which was hilarious, by the way, and now Sarah is going on and on about how bad she wants a baby. Uh oh lol) and she was constantly talking, then asking what happened during the time she was talking. Come on, woman! We had to rewind every 15 minutes to see what happened, and it always seemed that she would talk when someone was saying or doing something important.

Erica, I love you, but please, next time you watch a movie with us, DONT TALK!

What do you do when people talk during a movie you are watching? Does it make you feel enraged? Could you cut someones throat to shut them up? Tell me.

- Taylor


4 comments
Wednesday, October 8, 2008 | 5:43 PM
Lets Just Be Friends
I went to the interview at the strip club today. They want me to take the job.

It went so well. They asked me about my experience and training, showed me around, introduced me to the girls, and had me make a few drinks for them to see if I knew what I was doing. Once all that was done, the manager took me back to his office and had me take off my shirt and bra, which was a little weird. I was so nervous. I dont have the biggest boobs in the world, so I thought they were going to let me down and keep me from not getting the job. But, they didnt. The manager said they arent the biggest, but they have good shape? So whatever. He liked it, and creeped me out, and gave me the job.

Now I just have to decide if Im going to take it.

Im so sad. Sarah is leaving for New York on Sunday night. Im going to be all alone for 3 days. I have a surprise for when she comes back, though. I wont say what it is because I dont want her to find out, but she will love it, and it will be so exciting. I cant wait for her to come back already.

I have a question for you guys. When you meet a guy and he asks you out for a few drinks strictly as friends, does he ever mean it? The reason I ask is because I had two guys come in and sit in my section today. They were really nice, and by the end of their meals, one of them asked me if I want to have a few drinks with him tonight. I figured he was asking me on a date, so I told him hes barking up the wrong tree, and that my girlfriend wouldnt approve of me going on a date with a guy. At first he was a little surprised, then he says that it wont be a date, just two new friends going out for drinks.

I told him no thanks, but it has me wondering, was he really just wanting to have drinks as friends and not as a date? I have a hard time believing it wouldnt be a date, but why would he still want to go out with me after I tell him I have a girlfriend? I know guys try to hook up with lesbians all the time - Sarah talks about that a lot in her blog - but this guy really made it seem like he had no intentions of trying to hook up with me.

So what do you all think? Is it possible he really didnt have any ulterior motives, or was he being a typical douche bag and lying to me to get me where he wants me so he can hopefully convince me to fuck him?

- Taylor


3 comments
| 1:10 AM
Rate Me!
Hey guys. I know I dont really need it, but I added a thing to rate each of my posts. It sounded fun, so I added it. I feel cool now because I figured out how to install it all on my own. Well not all on my own. The site gave me instructions, but I did follow the instructions on my own! That has to be worth something.

Of course, I will be expecting 5's from everybody. If not, Ill be a sad Taylor : (

The site that had that rating thing also has a comments thing too. I might try that out and see how it goes once I start getting some more posts on here and more people start reading it (hopefully) and commenting on it (hopefully). I need the attention, so spread the word. Ill make out with you if you tell your friends. You cant pass up that offer.

HaloScan has this, and the account is free. It lets you track all the crap, too. Its confusing to me. JS-Kit.com has them too, and you dont have to sign up for an account, and its much easier for a simple-minded girl like me to understand.

(No one has actually rated yet. The only votes on there are me playing with it to see if it works properly.)

- Taylor


0 comments
Tuesday, October 7, 2008 | 9:23 PM
WTF?
I sign on here to find out the stupid blog Sarah had to made when she set up my account has been reported for Terms Of Service violations. There is absolutely nothing written in it. How could it be violating anything?

Whatever, I want it deleted anyways. I'm not going to use it. Someone probably wants the name of it but couldnt use it because Im more clever and thought of it first. Ok, so Taylor Made is probably the least clever you could ever get, but lets all pretend Im clever so my ego can stay as big as it currently is. I thrive on ego masturbation. And regular masturbation.

So is talking about sex considered "adult content?" Maybe that's why my original blog thing is under review. Maybe they meant to report this one, but since it has no bar at the top, they can't, so they reported the other one? Thats what Sarah just suggested. I should set this to adults only. Ill cry if this one gets locked up. Im just starting to get used to this, and I find myself looking forward to coming here with something uninteresting to write about, like how hot Lauren German is. She makes me wet. Can I say that? Is it wrong to talk about my vagina being wet on the internet?

But seriously, Sarah and I got in an argument today. It wasnt too bad. Shes upset that I want to work at a strip club. I was offered a job as a bartender. I have lots of training and some experience in bartending, but have never stuck with it. I think this would be a good opportunity for me. The only catch is, the staff is all female and Id have to work topless. Thats her only objection. Its understandable, but it shouldnt be that big of a problem. I guess we will talk about it more and see what happens. I really want this job though.

Shes upset because she used to do it and hated it because of the bullshit she had to deal with everyday, and shes scared for me. Worried Ill be treated bad and hit on and possibly meet someone else. Its sweet of her to be concerned, but I love her. I would never let anything happen to us.

Boring post, I know, but its all Ive got.

- Taylor


1 comments
| 3:17 AM
Its Late And Im Cool
Its not like me to stay up so late. Im so tired after working that I usually just fall asleep around 11, but here I am, wide awake, fucking around with Sarahs computer.

We watched Hostel 2 today, which was a lame movie, but I found a new actress that I have a crush on. Lauren German. Totally hot. Only disappointment is I did not get to see her boobs. I am like a teenage boy when it comes to boobies on film. If I remember correctly, Bijou Phillips (who is also a long time crush of mine) didnt even show hers off, which is unusual for her. What did blow my mind, was that besides seeing the tits of two secondary characters, the only other ones we got to see were Heather Matarazzos. How weird is that? I never expected her to do a topless scene, or show her ass (which wasnt half bad) either. It was while she was hanging upside-down from chains. I learned that boobs are not attractive when hung upside-down. Not at all.

But oh god, Lauren had me aching for some lovin. I dare anyone, man or woman, to look at her and tell me you wouldnt like to bury your face between her thighs. Id have her pants off and be on my knees faster than she could say "yes please."

Do you ever notice at night, when youve been up for a long time, you start to see things moving out of the corner of your eyes, like shadows and what-not that look like bugs? I swear Ive seen at least 100 centipedes in the last hour, but none of them turned out to be real. I feel so tired, yet I dont. How weird is that?

I need to stop saying "how weird is that?" I say it way too much - twice in this post alone. Its a habit. Anytime something slightly strange happens, the first thing out of my mouth is "how weird is that?" Stop it, Taylor.

So am I doing this blogging thing right? Basically just take the shit that sits in brain and transfer it to fancy type? If so, I like it. It helps get the random shit off of my mind. Its kind of like thinking out loud, except typing it and publishing it on the internet doesnt look nearly as foolish as talking out loud to yourself. I try very hard to never look foolish, too, so thinking out loud is out of the question.

That reminds me, I think its hilarious the way we react when we do something stupid in public. Like say you trip over a crack in the sidewalk. You get angry at that crack to make yourself not look so retarded. You make it look like that crack is the worst thing in the world and it should be damned to hell for tripping you in hopes that the people around will be fooled and think "hey, that crack is a shit head for tripping that girl! Did you see how it just popped up and tripped her like that?" It doesnt quite work. It just makes us look stupider. Is stupider even a word? I dont know, and Im so cool that I dont care. Ok, Im not that cool, but I still dont care.

- Taylor


1 comments
Monday, October 6, 2008 | 5:21 PM
Work It, Girl
Just like any other job, being a waitress makes you part of a group of people with something in common. In my case, that something in common is feeding people and being disgustingly nice for 8 to 12 hours a day. I noticed it long ago, but it wasnt till recently that I accepted myself being part of this community.

It sucks. We have to be the most two faced bitches in the entire American work force, and most of the time, our customers will never realize it.

For one reason or another, I payed attention to the other girls at work today. I watched them when they were dealing with the customers, then I watched them in the kitchen when they were out of sight and range of hearing. In the dining room, these girls are the sweetest girls you will ever meet, ready to do whatever they have to do to make you, the customer, happy. They will bend over backwards and kiss their own ass if you want them to. But dont be fooled. As soon as they get in the kitchen, away from you, they let out how they really feel.

Its disgusting. I will admit, I bitch about customers every now and then, but only when the customer has been a real dick. But no, not these girls. You could be the nicest old lady with the kindest heart and they will tear you apart behind your back because you asked if the waitress could bring you some lemon for your water.

It was baffling at first, but it didnt take much to figure out what was going on. They are only nice so youll leave a bigger tip.

Obviously I know that tips are our livelihood. 2 and some change an hour is all we get on our paychecks (if our total tips comes out to more than minimum wage at the end of the week. If we dont make minimum wage, we get paid minimum wage, but if you are a server that isnt making more than the minimum in tips every week, you should consider a career change. Also, at the end of the week, if the tips we claimed at the end of the night every week comes out to more than 15% of our total sales for the week, we dont even get a paycheck at all because of the taxes being taken out of it, so tips are huge for us. But when did it become ok to throw common courtesy, understanding, and hospitality out the window? For fucks sake, we work in a restaurant in America, a country full of some of the pickiest eaters in the world. If you take a job serving at any restaurant and you dont expect to have to deal with custom orders, send backs, and general pickyness, you are an idiot, to be completely honest.

Its part of the job. Get used to it. Give the customers enough respect to not bad mouth them in the kitchen because they sent back a steak that was well done when it should have been medium rare (or vice versa). Its not their fault you dont know how to listen and take orders properly.

- Taylor


1 comments
Sunday, October 5, 2008 | 11:21 PM
Trust Me
I have noticed that I am always doubting what people say lately. Anytime anyone tells me they are going to do something, I am very skeptical. I feel bad about it because I find myself doubting things Sarah says, even when I know she would never lie to me or tell me she was going to do something and then not do it. Its stupid.

I know where it comes from, and I hate to make generalizations, but I have to say its mens fault.

I was bi-sexual before I stuck with the ladies. Every relationship I was in with a man, I ended up getting hurt by their lies. Most of the time they were lying about cheating on me. I think thats the most popular thing for men to lie about. To be fair, women cheat and lie about it just as much, but I didnt. Ok, I did, but only a couple times and it was while I was with the same guy. It was the only times I ever cheated and its not like he told the rest of the guys I dated.

I actually came quite close to marrying one of those guys. Thank God I didnt. It was such a dysfunctional relationship. For starters, it was an open relationship. The only rule was I got to meet the other girls he was sleeping with first, and he got to meet the other girls I was sleeping with, and if one of us didnt approve of the candidate, we had to keep looking for someone else.

We were going to let this continue into our marriage. How fucked up of a marriage would that have been? I left him a week before the wedding date when I found out he was cheating on me with one of my ex-girlfriends-on-the-side. I wouldnt have had a problem with it if he followed the rules, but he wasnt even able to do that. So I left him and stayed with the girl I was currently seeing on the side. I was also 19 at the time. Too young to tie the knot, in my opinion.

But anyways, I always give Sarah the respect she deserves and tell myself I would be crazy to think she was lying to me, but I cant do that with everyone else in my life. I guess the goal now is to learn to trust people, but I am a firm believer in earning trust. It doesnt feel like the rest of these people have earned my trust. Then again, I may just have too high of standards set for them. Either way, I have to figure this out before I ruin some important relationships.

- Taylor


2 comments
| 8:42 PM
Uh Oh!
I have no idea how this blogging thing is supposed to work. In fact, I should never have been unleashed upon the interweb.

I don't have anything to say at the moment. Im jealous of Sarah and the things she talks about. She puts things in words better than I do, and Im lazy so I casually leave out a lot of punctuation. If it werent for spell check, it would be game over for me and typing anything coherent.

So Im just going to read all these other blogs that somehow are linked to on my blog. Sarah set it up for me because I have no idea how to use the internet, except for working google and downloading pornography. Oh, and ordering clothes. I can do that like a champ. Im so cool.

Anyways, thats it for now. Enjoi.

- Taylor


6 comments
| 8:14 PM
Hey!
So Taylor (my girlfriend for those of you who don't know) is going to be using this blog as her own! I couldn't figure out what to do with it, and it would have been a shame to delete it, so I figured she could use it since she's been wanting one of her own ever since I started mine.

So yeah, this is hers. That is all.


<3 Sarah


0 comments